So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
