so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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