i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize