what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
There r osticjed everywhere
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
