So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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