dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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