those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
