listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
