my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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