Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
