omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
