I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
