I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize