do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
