You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
