I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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