you have to choose: penises or morals?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
