so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
