is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
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