I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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