On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
