Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
