So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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