Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
