Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
