what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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