Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
