:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
