IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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