hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize