why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
