can we get nightvision for the apartment?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
