But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
