bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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