Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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