I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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