You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
