Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
