i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
