Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
