3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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