I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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