why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
