Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
