Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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