Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
