it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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