Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
