i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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