just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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