I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
