What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
