this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize