so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
