Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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