2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
