they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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