I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
